The Parable of the Prodigal Friend

A certain young man had two friends:

The young man had known his friends for a long, long time.  They were special to him, and he could see goodness in them that few other people possessed.  He thanked God day by day for their association.  He hoped that their friendship would continue forever.

12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.

The young man noticed a few things about one of his two friends that troubled him slightly.  They weren't necessarily big things, but they were significant.  He hoped that with time and concentration they would be worked out.  He was confident that he would.  He had learned so much from his friends; the thought of them reaching anything less than their monumental potential was unthinkable.

Something had been stirring inside the young man's friend recently.  He was determined to do what was right, but confused as to what that might mean.  He hoped that he and his Father could figure it out soon.

13 And not many days after the younger friend gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country.

The day, when it came, hit the young man like a landslide.  The sting of separation was real, but he comforted himself in knowing that many separations do not last forever.  "You may be gone, but my heart will be with you always," he said.  He had great confidence that his friend would find his way to their Ultimate Destination.

The young man's friend thought perhaps it was best to leave for a time so that he could work some things out on his own.  He wanted to make his decision with his whole heart, not looking back.  He would miss his friend, the example he had been to him, but he hoped to see him again someday.

and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

The young man's friend began to feel that the best thing he could do for his Father was to follow a path that differed from that of his youth.  It was a great sacrifice for him, and occasionally he had very poignant doubts, but ultimately he was convinced that this was the course of action that his Father wanted him to take, even though it meant travelling even farther from home.

When the lost one is your son or your daughter, your brother or your sister, and he or she has chosen to leave...after all we can do, we love that person with all of our hearts and we watch, we pray, and we wait for the Lord’s hand to be revealed.

Elder Brent H. Nielson, April 2015

Initially the young man was shocked at the plight of his friend.  He realized that the signs had been there for awhile, but the genuine goodness of his friend had blinded him from seeing how bad things had gotten.  His first reaction was a knee-jerk, almost spasmodic desire to rush into the far country and rescue him.  But the young man's Father knew better than he did and He held him back.                                                                                                                     "But anything could happen out there," pleaded the young man, not because he didn't believe his Father, but because the danger of his friend seemed so real.                                                                                                                "I am watching over him," said his Father.

 14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

The young man's friend found happiness--at least that's what he thought it was.  He told himself that his Father was pleased that he was willing to take such a drastic course of action for Him.  His Father was testing him.  Wasn't that what this famine was?  He would soon see the miracles that would come because of his obedience.

The young man lived what seemed to be a normal life, but his heart was far away.  The struggles of his friends motivated him to fight harder against his own weaknesses.  If someone so powerful could be so threatened with destruction, then but for the protection of his Father, the young man would be in the same place. 

15 And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

At times, a happy ending to the story seemed almost impossible to the young man.  The few letters his Father had asked him to send to his friend, which he had sent with great joy and hope for the future, seemed to have no effect.  There was often no reply, and when there was it was empty; there was something missing that had been there before.  For short periods of time he gave up, but something deep inside the young man would not let him let his friend go.

The friend thought the young man a bit pretentious in his haphazard attempts to convince him to come back, but he could see that the young man loved him, and that was enough to help him see past his overbearance...most of the time.  But often the messages served only to push the young man's friend farther away.

When you feel that there is only a thin thread of hope, it is really not a thread but a massive connecting link... Strive to live worthily and place your trust in the Lord.

Elder Richard G. Scott, April 2013

16 And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

One day the young man's Father gave him permission to visit his friend in the far country.  The moment he saw his friend again felt a little surreal.  It had been so long.  The friend was as wonderful as he ever had been, but he was still very far from home, even though he was only a few miles away from the place where he had grown up.  The young man wanted desperately to pull his friend out of the pig sty and take him back.  But by now listening to his Father has made him wiser about such things.                                                                                                                     "I can't feed the pigs for you," said the young man.  "That isn't my role.  And anyway there's already someone who's done that for you."  He took a few steps away, then stopped, turned, rushed back to his friend, embracing him, and said, "But if I could, I would."

The young man's friend was touched deeply by his concern.  Although he was the same person he had always known, there was something different about him.  Different in a good way.  The young man reminded the friend of someone, though he couldn't quite put his finger on who.  He knew that he could always rely on him.  He was impressed as to how much he had grown, and grateful for his desire to help him.

17 And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

Day by day, the young man's belief in his friend remains active.  He doesn't hear from him for awhile, and so he has no idea what is going through his friend's mind, but he trusts that the integrity of his heart will see him through.  If anyone can pull through, it is his friend.  He also trusts that his Father will allow him to help his friend in the way that would be best for him, and that the many mistakes he has made in his over-anxiety for his friend have been mercifully planned for.  Against hope, he believes in hope.

Almost against his every effort, the young man's friend felt another change happening in his heart.  It confused him considerably.  Hadn't he been following his Father out here in the wilderness for these many years?  Hadn't he sacrificed everything for Him?  What more could he have done that he hadn't done?  He kept his doubts deep in his heart, but said nothing about them to anyone.

The children of Father in Heaven can do amazing things when they feel trusted. Every child of God in mortality chose the Savior’s plan. Trust that given the opportunity, they will do so again.

Elder Richard G. Scott, April 2014

18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

The young man prayed for his friend every day by name.  He started to see more clearly how his love for his friend had changed his own heart.

The young man's friend knew he had to do something.  Life could not go on in this way.  He had to make a change.  But what that change would entail, he didn't know.

20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

Almost on a whim, the young man's friend decided to return to the house where he had grown up.  It seemed like a good place to rethink things and orient his life once more.  But as he drew closer to the house a man that reminded him of his Father came around the house and sped rapidly over the grass toward him.  Immediately doubts began to emerge once more.  The young man's friend had promised himself that he would not go back.  He felt distant, out of sorts, and out of place.  How would his Father react to him being here after he had promised not to return?  No.  He would not go back on the commitment that he had made.  The young man's friend slowed to a stop, paused, and set his feet to turn around. 

With tears in His eyes, the Father told the young man what He has longed to say to Him for so long, "Thy brother cometh.  Go ye out to meet him."  Like a cry from an angel the milk pail the young man was holding clattered to the ground as its former wielder sprinted into the yard.  Seeing his friend in the distance, he crashed through the gate and ran with all his might toward him.  Not even letting him speak, the young man caught his friend in a tight embrace and never lets go.

[H]e grabbed me, held me, and refused to let me fall.

Elder Jeffery R. Holland, April 2015

21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

In a blinding moment of revelation, the young man's friend knew instantly that he has done wrong and that for many, many years he has been far, far away.  How could he face his Father now?

The young man took his friend by the arm and lead him back to the house.  "Father sent me to come get you.  He would have come himself, but He sent me to go for Him.  He said it was the same as if He were to come personally, but that you might react better if you saw me first."

 

22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

"We've been planning your return party for awhile now," said the young man.  "Father asked me to kill the fatted calf for you."                                                                                                                                                                  "What do you mean?" asked his friend.  I've done nothing but wrong.  I've been gone for so many years, and I haven't even written home."                                                                                                                                             "That's of no concern to us," said the young man.

25 Now his younger son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.

26 And he called one of his friends and asked what these things meant.

"Why would you celebrate my coming home after so many years of apostasy?" asked the young man's friend.         "Because of what you have done for me," said the young man.

27 And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.

28 And he was confused, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and entreated him.

29 And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do your elder son serve thee, neither transgressed he at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest him a kid, that he might make merry with his friends:

30 But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

"I don't deserve any of this," said the young man's friend.  "Why are you celebrating for me. when your elder son is the one who has been faithful?"                                                                                                                                 "He was faithful because his love for you made him so," said the Father.  "But your heart was true to me even when you were far away.  Even in the error of your ways you tried honestly to do my will.  Now that you are safely home, I know that you will never depart again."

And there began to be the natural fruit again in the vineyard; and the natural branches began to grow and thrive exceedingly; and the wild branches began to be plucked off and to be cast away; and they did keep the root and the top thereof equal, according to the strength thereof...and they became like unto one body; and the fruits were equal; and the Lord of the vineyard had preserved unto himself the natural fruit, which was most precious unto him from the beginning.

Zenos, Jacob 5:73-74

31 And he said unto them, Sons, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

32 It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

The Most Important Person In YOUR Universe

          Last week I talked about the person that the entire universe revolves around.  Today I flip the coin to the other side and discuss YOUR universe, its ins, outs, and focus.  Who do you suppose the focus of your universe is?  And, more importantly, why do you suppose it needs to change?

          The focus of your universe is yourself.  I say that with confidence because, were that not true, you would not still be living in a Telestial state.  It may be that some of you may have friends and family that you are deeply concerned about and that you put others first in many things, but if you had accomplished that completely you would be very different from how you are now, which I will explain a little later on. 

          First of all, let me start by explaining that the happiness of others is the only motivation that is truly selfless.  Many other good-sounding motivations are really just another way of saying that you are seeking your own happiness.  For example, wanting your children to be well-mannered so that they aren't a nuisance in public can be another way of saying that you don't want to feel uncomfortable.  Self-honesty is key, because it is the only way we can really evaluate how we are doing.  Seeking another person's happiness, rather than even the happiness that comes from seeing them happy, is the only time our focus really shifts away from ourselves.  Every other motivation, if you study it long enough, has a core root that is burrowed ever so deeply inside of yourself.  

          It is also important to recognize that celestial beings cannot be selfish.  If you have imagined to yourself a celestial being that is selfish, you have created in your mind a being that is not like God.  If, therefore, you are to become a celestial being, you cannot have most of the motivations that naturally guide your daily decisions.  There is a great disparity between where you are and where you should be.  If that isn't obvious, think about the irony of the fact that I just attempted to motivate you to focus less on your own happiness by explaining that such is a requirement for celestial joy.  Potentially even your motivation for wanting to be selfless is inherently self-centered.

          There are certain things that we will be readily selfless about.  In a serious medical emergency, we are not likely to walk away rather than call 9-1-1.  Parents generally want the best for their children, often at the sacrifice of all else.  However, at certain point, as the prophet Joseph Smith so eloquently put it, "[we] set up stakes and say thus far will we go and no farther." At a certain point of selflessness our nature chafes.  For example, most people making a career choice place more weight on what they want from life than on what is best for the people around them.  If you knew that becoming a menial factory worker for the rest of your life would help more people than anything else you could do with your life would you do it?  Most people get married for their own happiness rather than because doing so will bring about far greater happiness to others than anything else they could do.

          Do you feel the chafe?  In the city of Zion, the new Jerusalem, the concept of self will be considered barbaric.  Hearing that, isn't there a little voice inside you that says, "Surely I'll get to think of myself some time.  Maybe a few minutes working on my golf putt or playing video games by myself.  Maybe reading a science fiction novel."

          If you feel at all this way, you have run smack dab into the natural man of King Benjamin fame.  To be clear, I do believe we will have both individuality and opportunities to enjoy and appreciate the things that God has created for us in Zion and in Heaven.  I believe that a "self" will exist in some sense.  But I also think that because of how far we all are from selflessness, thinking of Zion as a place where self is barbaric is far more accurate than our current conception of what it will be like.

          What should now be obvious, if it wasn't already, is that this is precisely the entire purpose of the Atonement.  Christ can change us into creatures that thrive rather than chafe at the thought of perfect selflessness.  If you notice, the times in your life that you grew the closest to God were a result of the most selfless things that you did.

          Jesus instructed his disciples, "For behold, ye are they whom I have chosen to minister unto this people. Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?"  Now, I have heard many people say that this does not apply to the general membership of the Church because we are not called to the same calling that they were.  To that I say, it is just as applicable to us as Christ's injunction to "feed my sheep."  That is, it may not apply to us in the same capacity as the Nephite disciples, but to say that it doesn't apply at all is preposterous.  If we are seeking the happiness of others the Lord will provide for us.

          I mentioned earlier that if we were truly selfless that we would be very different than we are.  One of the reasons for this is that selflessness and sin cannot exist at the same place at the same time.  To rid yourself of selfishness is to rid yourself of sin, and those that we know of who have done that, such as John the Beloved and the three Nephites, were translated.

          Personal happiness is a byproduct of true selflessness, not what you should be going after.  Something to be grateful for, but ever willing to sacrifice.  There are people who say that our salvation should be our highest priority, but I believe that seeking the salvation of others is our salvation.  Not just a facet of it, but the thing itself.  Through the Atonement our natures can be changed and we can become completely selfless.  A people of love, life, and miracles.

The Most Important Person in the Universe

          The universe is a big place.  A lot of work goes into its maintenance.  From glittering cosmos to the point on a pin, each detail has a significant place.  As I sat pondering recently, it occurred to me that it was all wrought, all created, all meticulously held in balance, all for a single individual.  Who do you suppose that might be?

          After all, God created it for everyone.

Didn't He?

          Moses asked Him that question once.  "And it came to pass that Moses called upon God, saying: Tell me, I pray thee, why these things are so, and by what thou madest them?  And behold, the glory of the Lord was upon Moses, so that Moses stood in the presence of God, and talked with him face to face. And the Lord God said unto Moses: For mine own purpose have I made these things. Here is wisdom and it remaineth in me" (Moses 1:30-31).  Interesting answer, don't you think?  Especially considering His answer to a very similar question just verses later, "For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39).

          So God's purpose in the creation of the Earth is at least slightly different than what He defines as His work and Glory.  The firsts question He did not answer.  The second He did.  What I am about to teach is not found explicitly in any single scripture.  But I know it is true.  As Moroni teaches, "By the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things" (Moroni 10:5).

          But what do you think?  A farmer goes out into the country, buys a piece of land, farms it, builds a house on it, sells his crop and buys food for his family.  For which of his children did he do it?  For all of them?

          "And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him" (1 John 4:16).

          It's easy to see that everything that God does is in some way linked to love.  But the way He loves may not be the same way that we envision that He does.  You see, love, or truth, is "independent in that sphere in which God has placed it."  If love is independent, it is also unconditional.  It is separate and distinct for each person and is neither increased, decreased, or affected in any other way by the existence of other people who are also loved.  He loves as if each person were His only child.

          The person that God created the universe for is you.  Yes, you.  The sky, the flowers, the sun, the worlds without number, all for you personally.  If you ever stare out at the sunset and feel like He is putting on a show for you personally, you're right.  An interesting parallel might help you grasp the idea.  After Conference in April, one of my friends posted on Facebook something to the effect of the following:  "I feel bad that you all had to sit through 10 hours of talks made just for me."  Of course, this was said with a bit of a sarcastic overtone, but it is literally true.  Just as each talk in General Conference was designed personally for every single person who would listen to it, so has everything, EVERYTHING in life been designed for every single child of God simultaneously.  There isn't any kind of trade-off between one person's interests and another.  Each person is favored absolutely and completely.  You may just as well sit back and feel bad because everyone else in the world has to experience a universe that God made specifically for you.

          It is easy to see error in our lives.  It's much more difficult to see perfection.  But it is there.  In fact, it is everywhere.  Every detail.  Every haphazard attempt by a friend to make your day.  Every moment of "bad luck."  All of it is perfect.  All of the difficulties, pain, unfairness, awkwardness, insecurity, and sadness are part of what makes your life ideal for you.

          The incredible thing is that God does this for every single person in the universe.  The next time you have trouble forgiving someone who has hurt you, remember that they are literally the one person that God created the entire universe for.  Maybe then you'll see them in a different light.

          The other incredible thing is that while God controls every single aspect of your life, so do you.  It sounds impossible, but it is true.  You are in just as absolute control of your life through your agency as God is through the priesthood; the best decisions in life are a team effort, a combination between your agency and God's power and inspiration.

          The farmer builds his house and harvests his crop not for all his children, but for each one individually.  Your love for one child or spouse or friend does not destroy your love for another person.  Each piece of your life is a personal manifestation of the great, eternal Whole.

Death Without Sting

          Because of the sacrifice of the Savior, death has no sting.  Death has no victory.  Satan has no power.  We often speak of the Savior’s atonement and rightly we should.  As we speak of Christ at every opportunity, we must never lose our sense of awe and eternal gratitude of the sacrifice of the Son of God.

          --Dieter F. Uchtdorf

          Death is thought of as the universal punishment, the misfortune of all misfortunes.  No matter how bad it gets, people comfort themselves by saying, "at least I'm not dead."  At the same time, it is inevitable.  Through Jesus Christ we learn that the sting of death is swallowed up in his Atonement.  This can be true in multiple senses of the term.  If we think of death in the physical sense, the natural conclusion is that Christ swallows up the sting of death because now we know that it will be only a temporary circumstance.  Because of the Resurrection, death will not have a permanent claim on anyone.

          However, the scriptures teach additional meanings of the phrase.  For example, in the Doctrine and Covenants we read, "And the elders of the church, two or more, shall be called, and shall pray for and lay their hands upon them in my name; and if they die they shall die unto me, and if they live they shall live unto me...And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them;" (D&C 42:45, 47)  Have you ever thought of death as something that could be "sweet"?  Yet that is precisely what this verse was saying.  Furthermore, I don't know that Christ's power is limited by the kind of death that a person experiences.  This scripture seems to indicate that Christ removes the sting a of death from His disciples in both a literal and metaphorical sense.

          To take this thought even further, recall that often, if not always, temporal things are symbolic of spiritual things.  In terms of spiritual death, that would mean that not only does Christ give us the hope that our spiritual death, by way of the fall, can become a temporary circumstance, He can take away the sting of that death in this life.  If spiritual death means separation from God, removing death's sting would mean being united with him even in mortality.  Just as we qualified for a redemption from physical death by keeping our first estate, we qualify for the removal of the second by being faithful in mortality.  Such an idea casts light on the statement by Joseph Smith regarding whose who prove faithful, "[Christ] will manifest the Father unto him."

          Just as the Resurrection is the ultimate victory over temporal death, so is this promise the ultimate victory over spiritual death.  In the same way that the Savior thwarts physical mortality by "preserving [us] from day to day, by lending [us] breath", Christ can take away the sting of the second death inherent in each moment by the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost.

          Let us believe in Christ, that He may exercise His saving grace in us by taking away the spiritual misery of daily mortal experience through the administration of the First Comforter.