Clinging and Piano Keyboards

          Up to this point I haven't had much difficulty in coming up with topics to blog about.  It seems like God has had so much to teach me on such a consistent basis that there is no end to the subjects that feel fresh and new to me.  This week, however, it hasn't come as easily as before.  I don't think it's because I'm suddenly less in sync with the Spirit.  In fact, I think it's a positive sign.

         There is a certain atmosphere of accomplishment I call the "maxed out" feeling.  It typically comes when I've just finished hitting my stride in some aspect of my life, such as a job, a life situation, and even and especially a particular spiritual perspective on life.  The Lord is constantly mixing things up and making things interesting.  He has a way of causing pillars of our lives that we previously thought were as constant as gravity to crumble to Pixie Stix powder.  When the Lord is actively involved, we often reach a point when, although we haven't learned everything we could possibly from a situation, the new information and experiences we would get from maintaining the status quo wouldn't be nearly as effective as it had been in the past.  That is the time for change.

          The descriptive effectiveness of the phrase "maxed out"  is limited because it implies some kind of finite barrier that we hit in our learning that completely cuts off our upper progress.  To the best of my understanding, such a barrier only exists among Satan's third of heaven and the sons of perdition.  In contrast, the "maxed out" feeling comes when our progress reaches a peak and begins to slow down.

          Oftentimes we are so comfortable in our present paradigm that we try to cling too hard to where we are or how we think because it is familiar to us.  This frequently happens in those moments when we think we have found the most important principle of the Gospel.  Said Elder Packer:

          "The gospel might be likened to the keyboard of a piano—a full keyboard with a selection of keys on which one who is trained can play a variety without limits... How shortsighted it is, then, to choose a single key and endlessly tap out the monotony of a single note, or even two or three notes, when the full keyboard of limitless harmony can be played." 

          On another occasion he said:  "Some members of the Church who should know better pick out a hobby key or two and tap them incessantly, to the irritation of those around them. They can dull their own spiritual sensitivities. They lose track that there is a fulness of the gospel, . . . [which they reject] in preference to a favorite note. This becomes exaggerated and distorted, leading them away into apostasy." 

          I think that might be my favorite quote by Elder Packer.  Oftentimes I rediscover a new spiritual note or combination of notes that I haven't heard in quite the same way before.  I get so excited that I set aside what I have been working on so I can practice hitting those notes just right.  While I'm never going to be absolutely perfect at playing them, and although a certain amount of practice is necessary to be proficient, there comes a point in time when I've gotten good enough at hitting those notes that continuing to play the same thing over and over again would cross the line from productive to irritating. 

          This doesn't mean that I should never play those notes again, or that I won't find something later on that will make them better, it just means that I need to see those notes for what they are:  a single measure in the symphony God is composing for my life.  I need to let those notes fall into their appropriate place in my life.  I should ever appreciate them but never cling to them.  I should recognize that God has an endless supply of measures for me to receive, cherish, and learn from, of which those notes are but a single glittering gem.  I know all that.

          Then why is it so hard?

          It's hard because we come to love those notes so much.  They become a part of who we are.  We want to stand by them and be loyal to them at all hazards, to tell everyone about them.  To paint murals and tell stories and write blog posts about them, not realizing that the time may come when it would be better for us to let them slip from our tightly clenched grasps and be placed a box in the corner of our hearts, to be treasured on a different day.

          Wherever you are in your eternal progression, when God doesn't hand you the topic He wants you to write about that week on a silver platter and you realize that He is beginning to work with you slightly differently from how He has in the past, let your love of the Lord propel you onward toward the next gleaming sunrise.  The one painted in the sky by your Father just for you.  The one just around the bend. 

Salvation: The Apex of Human Experience

          Three fallen men are standing at the bottom of a cliff, with Jesus standing at the top.  Jesus tells the three of them,

          "Come unto Me."

          The first man tells Jesus, "I believe you can bring me to the top of the cliff."  Jesus waves His hand and the man is teleported magically to the top. 

          The second man says, "I will climb up to reach you, but I know on my own I will fall.  Give me a harness and climbing gear and catch me every time I fall."  The Lord does so and he reaches the top of the cliff in safety.

          The third man say, "I know that Thou canst do anything.  Give me strength to climb up to Thee."  Nothing miraculous happens immediately, but as soon as he starts to climb God begins to incrementally strengthen his muscles.  Sometimes the man slips or scrapes an arm and becomes frightened that he will fall.  Sometimes he doubts his own ability to reach the top of the cliff.  However, he remembers that God has prepared the mountainside specifically for him and feels the supernatural strength he receives, and that gives him courage to keep moving.  With time and the man's repentance the Lord heals his scrapes and bruises so he can continue on without falling.  At any time the man could use his agency to give up and let go, but instead he chooses to move on.  However, it is only the strength he receives from God that makes it possible for him to navigate the increasingly difficult cliff face.  With time, he also reaches the top of the cliff.

          When the first man reaches the top he is in a different place but has not changed at all.  The second man made the choice to climb, but only in conditions of complete safety and with little mental or physical growth.  However, when the third man reaches the top of the cliff he is like God.  He is physically perfect because God prepared the mountain to make him that way.  Even more, he has also learned to trust the Lord in the face of impending destruction.  Though seeming to risk life and limb to reach the Lord, he knows that when Christ is involved, there is no such thing as risk.  During the course of the journey, he came to know the Lord, while the other two only knew about Him.  All three men reach the top of the cliff, but only the third was saved.

          All three of these men are real.  The first is the person who deliberately throws his life into the gutter and keeps it there his whole life despite pleading requests from God.  He may believe in God's saving power, but he doesn't act differently because of it.  He is required to suffer for his sins and is saved in the Telestial Kingdom.  He is at the top of the cliff, but his desires and actions are the same.

          The second man is the person who tries to follow God using only the strength and talents God has blessed him with at birth.  These are naturally imperfect and often lead him to shirk his duty or to play it safe rather than do God's will.  His desires may be originally similar or even superior to those of the third man, but without the help of God they never change on the deepest level, and so he does not change.  He chooses to receive the Gospel but is not valiant in the testimony of Jesus.  His righteous choices allow him to be saved in the Terrestrial Kingdom, but still he falls short of his potential.

          The third man also uses his talents and abilities, but he recognizes that they are infinitely less than they need to be for him to be saved.  He knows that he can fall.  But he also has faith in He who is omnipotent and he does His work.

          My friends and associates:  I wish I could tell each of you individually how badly I want you to be the third mountain climber.  I want to tell you how much I want you to reach your potential.  I used to think salvation was easy; in reality it is the hardest thing we will ever do because it encompasses everything that we do in our entire lives.  

          I bear you my witness that Jesus Christ can save you in every sense of the word.  Salvation is not what you do or where you go but who you are.  Christ taught the souls in spirit prison yet He remained a celestial person.  He drunk a bitter cup without becoming bitter.  Even now He has a plan for you that takes into account every sin you have or will ever commit that, if followed, would make you like Him.  Even now that plan is in effect in your life.  If I could tell you just one thing with such power that it would cause every fiber of your being to tremble and shake, it would be this:

          No matter where you are or what you're going through,

Never.  Let.  Go.

Through the Glass Darkly

          It's occurred to me recently that we know a lot less than we think we do about God's plan for us.  I hope this isn't a surprise to anyone, but I've also been struck by how little we know about even the parts that He chooses to share with us.

          Recently the Lord has blessed me with some of the most clear, direct, specific revelation that I've ever received.  I thought I understood why He was giving it to me.  I thought I understood what blessing He was trying to bestow.  So I happily thundered forward and faithfully applied everything He told me to, even the things that seemed peculiar or even a bit ridiculous.  Most of the times I did I felt/saw a confirmation that I was indeed doing what the Lord wanted me to.

          At the end of this last week the spiritual buildup reached its climax.  In many of God's communications to me I saw, or thought I saw, encouragement that things would turn out the way that I wanted them to.  At the same time, knowing how things have a way of happening differently from how I expect them to, I recognized that choosing to believe what the outcome would be was a risk.  Boy was I right about that!  Not only did things not happen the way I hoped that they would, I found out that all the inspiration I had received had a completely different purpose from what I had thought.

          The Lord did have a miracle in store for me, but the miracle was not the sudden shift in circumstances I was looking for.  It was that as soon as it became clear that I wasn't going to get what I wanted, my personal desires fell away and all I cared about was the welfare of the other person involved.  It was a miracle because it wasn't something that I would have naturally been capable of doing without the enabling power of the Atonement.  It has been a long time since I have cared so much about the eternal destiny of another person as I did in that situation.  I understood far more deeply than before the kind of love that motivated the Savior to desire to suffer so that another might not have to.    I wished that I could do the same for them.  I pray that I will be able to do for them anything else that may be in my power.

          Even if, despite the emotional and spiritual exertion that I experienced over the course of this experience, I didn't get what I wanted; even if I never truly understand all of the Lord's purposes for prompting me; even if it causes me distress in the future; if, after all that, the will of the Lord was done by it and one of my spiritual siblings received the blessings they needed, then I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

          We spend our whole lives trying to understand the direction that the Lord gives us.  We try hard to divine His purposes and to see the meaning behind the suffering and the tears.  Yet through our effort we hear the cry of Nephi, in the very act of receiving one of the most clear revelations we have record of:  "I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things. (emphasis added)."  I too do not know the meaning of all things.  In fact, I feel like there are no real exceptions to that.  The lowly specks of understanding that distill on our souls from time to time are absolutely nothing to the Lord's comprehension of the purposes of all things.

          Which of you can describe to me what it means to be saved so that I can understand it the same way that God does?  How could any of us ever hope to completely master the complex interplay of faith, agency, justice, and mercy on par with the Great Jehovah?

          Follow the promptings of the Spirit.  Serve others.  Keep the commandments.  But always remember that the Lord's ways are higher than our ways and that we often misunderstand the reasons for the guidance He gives us, even when they seem obvious.  The day will come when we do understand, but until then we are to walk by faith, not knowing everything.  When we see as we are seen and know as we are known we will thank God for the experiences of our lives and rejoice at the perfection of His plan for us.

          That each one of the people I love might stand with God and His Christ at that great day is my prayer and the purpose for which I have dedicated my entire life.

Less Than The Dust

          What does it mean to be less than the dust of the Earth?  It means recognizing that God is infinitely more powerful than ourselves, and that even on our very best days we know absolutely nothing about what's really going on.

          We so often assume that we know far more than we really do.  The stability of our lives paves the way for a façade of control that really does not exist.  "God...has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another...and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another. (Mosiah 2:20-21)" 

          We wander from decision to decision, moment to moment, with the assumption that life and freedom and structured existence are the natural way of the universe, when in reality even our ability to breath and move of our own accord is constantly supported by the power of God.  Without Him we would collapse into the ball of chaotic matter that we were before He created us.  Even the vilest human being is propped up from moment to moment by the hand of a loving God.  Such is His love that He allows us to make mistakes.  Such is His love that there is nothing beyond His ability to heal and repair if we come unto Him.  Such is His love that the only reason He would not save us is if we chose not to be saved.  He doesn't count the number of chances He gives us, only the number of His children who still need them, which is all of us.

          Scientists send rockets to the moon, and yet mankind has still failed to find an indisputable definition of what it means to be human.  If we still don't understand ourselves we don't really understand the universe either, as much as we might think that we do.  So often we strive to set the course of our own lives when we don't we understand what it means to be alive in the first place.  We try to make decisions about who we will be, where we will work, and who we will marry, all based our personal flawed, biased, infinitesimally small data set of sample size one.  There is One who understands the true order of things and what we really desire.  He loves us with infinite love.  He is the only one capable of making the decisions that will place us in the happiest of circumstances.  The only intelligent course of action is to let Him take over.  Make the decisions that He asks us to make.  Trust Him with all our heart, might, mind, and strength, and recognize that the only reason we ever accomplish anything good is because He empowers us to act.

          The reason your life doesn't turn out the way you expect is because your perceptions and expectations are naturally flawed.  God has a perfect plan for you, an imperfect individual.   He never leaves your happiness to chance.  There is no such thing as bad luck, only a bad understanding of what is ideal.  If we truly understood the purpose of the circumstances of our lives, we would never trade places with anyone.

          In short, understanding that you are less than the dust of the Earth is the only way to know how much you matter to the single most important being in the entire universe.  If there is one thing in life that I am sure about, it is this:

 

Everything about your life is because God loves you.