October 9, 2013. The
first time I'd seen mountains in two years.
I remember looking out the window of the plane high above the craggy
north Utah landscape and realizing I was home.
In just a few minutes I would officially be an RM.
I had no idea what to expect. I thought coming home would be a real
letdown, not mentally or emotionally, but spiritually. I worried that I would forever be struggling
to live up to the ideal I had lived on my mission for the rest of my life.
Roughly six months ago I started this blog with my
thoughts on what I had learned since my mission. Although I haven't mentioned my mission much
directly since then, in a way all of my posts have carried that same hidden
theme. My posts are a paper trail of
bits of doctrine and principle that the Lord has steadily taught me from then
until now. I feel that if I was called
again to serve as a full-time missionary today I would be a far better one than
I was a year ago.
The difference between my life before and after my
mission is striking. It was if before my
mission I had been huddled up near the surface of life, but now I'm diving deep
under the skin, seeing the same sunset from a higher altitude.
We are never so strong or so righteous but that the
Gospel of Jesus Christ can change us fundamentally for the better. We are never so kind or so humble or so
selfless but that we can be a little bit purer.
The breathtaking vistas that God paints on the walls of the mind that lets
Him in are far more spectacular a sight then the mountains surrounding the Salt
Lake Valley were to me on my final approach of the runway. The greatest miracles happen not in the desert
of Sinai or by the Pool of Bethesda or on the waters or Galilee but in human
hearts. In one way of thinking about it,
that is the only place in which they ever do.
Since my mission I have had to learn that I am not nearly
as good as I think I am. For others, the
lesson they need to learn is just the opposite:
that they are powerful beyond their wildest imagination. Since my mission I have had to learn to see
the god or goddess inside each person. I
have had to learn to let go of what I had thought was firm at a moment's notice
and hold fast to unclear objectives through mental wind and storm. Since my mission I have learned to teach from
the same side of the table as the investigator and to find the focus of my life
in building Zion, one spiritual brick at a time. For the first time I've begun to make real
progress toward the goal of valuing each calling equally, regardless of
position.
Since my mission I learned that the Lord's work is far
more important that schoolwork. I
learned that the sacrament has power both to heal and to change. I learned that we should always act in faith
but never try to control what is only God's to determine.
Through all these lessons I have felt the Atonement of
Christ lift me from one spiritual stepping stone to another. Looking behind me, I almost can't believe how
blind and unfocused I seemed before. I
know that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world and that He is personally
involved in every one of our lives. While
none of us are out of danger of falling, His love is always sufficient to
overcome all obstacles, to bring us safely home.
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