Ties That Bind

          Last week I discussed some of the ways we separate ourselves from one another.  Today I provide my opinion about why we do so, and how the Atonement can resolve our differences.

          I believe that humans place distinctions between themselves and others because we are obsessed with proving to ourselves our own uniqueness.  We are so insecure and uncertain about who we are that we seek to define ourselves by comparing ourselves to others.  

          In the world of science we define the world in terms of contrasts and measurements.  It doesn't help a scientist to know that an asteroid is several hundred thousand furlongs from Earth unless he knows how close that is compared to the majority of other asteroids.  Many scientific conventions are constructed to give precise definitions to terms and measurements that make each concept distinct from everything else in the universe.  If there is a force in the world that we can't define in terms of something we already know, scientists either call it "randomness" or don't recognize that it exists.

          But how do you measure a person?  It's more of a philosophic question than a scientific one, yet each of us grapple with it every day.  Some of us define ourselves by our positions, our place of work, or our hobbies.  A person says, "I'm a businessman," or "I'm a communist," and instantly we think we have an idea of who they are.  Sometimes we choose a cluster of cardinal characteristics to attribute to ourselves.  In elementary school I saw myself as "loyal."  At other times I've seen myself as "sincere," "compassionate," "selfish," or "stingy."  But none of these things by themselves can capture the entirety of who we are, and sometimes we feel a sense of wanting to latch onto something concrete.  We want to know how sincere or kind or helpful we are.  So we define ourselves by how we differ from other humans.  They are the yardstick by which we measure ourselves.

          When we see someone make a mistake or perform less well than we could it gives us a sense of being better than them, maybe not as a person, but at least in that one specific area.  If a person fails to excel in athletics and is put down because of it he could choose to see himself as worse than his oppressors because of his lack of skill, or he could see himself as morally better because he doesn't respond to their criticism in a negative way.

          The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the only way to change our natures deeply enough to erase all of the artificial barriers we place between ourselves.  When we try to equalize ourselves through our own efforts we may have temporary success with one barrier, such as skin color, only to create new barriers by defining others as "racist" or "egalitarian."  To truly be equal we need a power beyond our own.

          In the Book of Mormon the book of 4 Nephi preaches that there was no contention "because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people."  Not love for each other, but love for God.  Why?  Because when the people chose to love God they used their agency to obey him and made solemn covenants that pulled the enabling power of the Atonement into their lives.  That Power changed their hearts to the point that they began to love each other in a more exalted way.  God taught each one in their hearts that they were His spiritual offspring with inherent worth, regardless of their abilities and independent of every other living creature in the universe.  They defined themselves as a society of equals, each with distinct skills and accomplishments.  They desired the happiness of their brothers and sisters more than their own happiness.

          If you want a change of that magnitude in your life, keep your covenants and prepare yourselves to receive any others that you currently lack.  Follow the Spirit, keep the commandments to the best of your ability, and plead for divine help.  Elder Dale Renlund taught, "Through the Atonement of Christ and by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel, we undergo this ultimate operation, this spiritual change of heart." 

          Elder Bednar went further:  "The Lord’s authorized servants repeatedly teach that one of the principal purposes of our mortal existence is to be spiritually changed and transformed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ...I witness the reality and divinity of a living Savior who invites us to come unto Him and be transformed."

          I too witness of that reality as one who struggles to allow the Savior to make that transformation a deep and permanent part of his character through grace far above what he deserves.