I am convinced that a lot of the
frustration we level at ourselves because of perfectionism comes from an
imperfect understanding of what it means
to put forth our best effort. Sometimes
we condemn ourselves for actions that don't deserve condemnation. Other times we try to do more than we
currently have the spiritual capacity to accomplish.
There is a significant difference
between mistakes and sins. Occasionally
we all make mistakes that unintentionally harm others or are not the best use
of our resources. Sometimes the wrong
words slip out, help is offered in a less-effective way than would be ideal, or
we forget some important administrative detail.
We have a tendency to be hard on
ourselves when this happens, not realizing that our actions are missing the
fundamental element of sin: agency.
That doesn't mean, of course, that we
don't use our agency to make day to day decisions such as the ones mentioned
above. However, when we make a mistake,
rather than a sin, we never make the inner decision to rebel against God, or
anything that comes from Him. Elder
Scott has said, "The joyful news...is that the Lord sees weaknesses
differently than He does rebellion. Whereas the Lord warns that unrepented
rebellion will bring punishment, when the Lord speaks of weaknesses, it is
always with mercy." Selfishness and refusal to obey God is
always the underlying element of sin. In
a word, it is what makes sin wrong. That
underlying decision is always deliberate.
It requires agency. This means
that when we make a completely inadvertent mistake, one made in total ignorance
without the slightest desire to be rebellious or selfish, that mistake was
never really a sin.
For example, if an IRS worker, while
doing everything they possibly can to be accurate and precise, makes a mistake
that costs another person a lot of money, have they committed a sin? Of course not! They never used their agency to do wrong to
another person. In fact, they were doing
everything in their power to do things the right way. So why is it that when we are the one making
the inadvertent mistakes we are so much harder on ourselves? Such mistakes do not contradict the laws of
God and will never keep a person out of heaven.
In another way of looking at it, our mistakes
or weaknesses constitute the limit of our 
capacity,
while sin is the blatant misuse of
our capacity. A seasoned missionary who
doesn't teach to the best of his ability because of laziness would surely be
under condemnation, whereas a very new missionary who teaches at the same level
because that is the best he can do would not.
What for the older missionary is a sin is merely weakness for the
younger. Even if the younger missionary
unintentionally offended someone because of his lack of experience with the
language, he still would not be using his agency the wrong way.
An important corollary to this idea is
the fact that no one can ever make us sin.
Even if another person could physically force us to do an action that is
wrong, if we used our agency to fight back and never gave our will to them,
they could never impel us to sin. Sin is
something that happens inside of us. The
actions themselves are merely outward manifestations of the real crime that
occurs in a person's heart. The Lord
will never allow weakness or mistakes on our part to permanently harm the
wellbeing or salvation of another.
As, with the Spirit, we learn to
discern between our mistakes and our sins, we can learn to look down on
ourselves less and concentrate on those things that are really keeping us from
perfection rather than shooting at smoke.
We can learn what things to let go of and what things to repent of. We can see ourselves in a more accurate
light. When, in our weakness, we become
humble and come unto Christ through repentance, the Lord in His mercy forgives
us of our sins and "make[s] weak things strong to [us]." We can be sure that He desires to do so.
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