Givers and Receivers

          What is the greatest gift you can give to another?  Is it your time?  Your concern?  Sacrificing something that means a lot to you?  Certainly which gift is best depends on the situation.  There is one gift that the Savior often gave that may not be obvious.

          "Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).  Because so much happiness comes from being able to make a positive contribution for others, sometimes the best thing we can do for them is to be helped by them.

          When we help others there is often a tendency to think of ourselves as above them, at least in some sense, even if we love and respect them.  It takes humility, and true love, to let others serve us so that they can feel happy and elevated.  To be clear, that does not mean that we should be selfish.  It simply means that when others try to do nice things for us, and we let them, we are giving them a key to happiness.

          Why is it so intuitive to us that we should accept Christ's sacrifice for us, and yet so difficult for us to allow others to do the dishes for us, give us rides to the grocery store, or any other small thing?  Zion is to be of one heart and one mind.  I do not believe that that can occur without a constant flow of giving and receiving between all of the saints.  I am not saying that we should limit the amount that we help others.  What I am saying is that we should pair out willingness to serve others with a willingness to be served.  From experience I know that sometimes the latter is harder,

          The following comes from the life of the Savior:

          "And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment" (Luke 7:37-38).

          I think that most people in Christ's situation would feel a little embarrassed about amount of affection the woman was showing.  But instead of pushing her away, the Savior gave her the priceless gift of the opportunity to serve the Son of God.  Sometimes the best way to rescue the damsel in distress is to let her rescue you.  The word "let" doesn't mean that you didn't legitimately need rescuing.  It may be as simple as acknowledging something beneficial that she did for you that she might not have thought was important.  It may be that you could have turned to someone else but chose her instead.

          Balance is difficult, but when the most important principles are in our hearts they emerge naturally in our actions.  So serve others.  Love them, help them and sacrifice for them.  But among all that, let others love you back.

"Coupelle opalescente Etling - Etling opalescent dish," no changes made, by Etienne https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/legalcode

Love One Another

          There is something more that needs to be said about the power of relationships between people.  Those relationships bring us a comprehension of reality and give us happiness.  It is the only force powerful enough to break down certain pieces of our nature which aren't congruent with God's light.  Can you think of some examples of how this can be the case? 

          "[Y]e are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:8-9). 

          In all other aspects of life, being better at something separates a person from the rest of humanity and places him on a pedestal above his peers.  That is true even in a spiritual setting because those with increased spiritual perspectives and knowledge cannot express everything that they know in a way that will be understood.  However, the stronger we are at building relationships, the more connected we become.  Being stronger in that sense means drawing closer to those that we serve, independent of how good they are at doing the same.  It means understanding them more deeply.  That is why Jesus Christ can stand at eye level with us without compromising His identity as the Son of God.

          Does it make sense, then, why prayer is such a fundamental part of the Gospel?  It is the way we build our one-on-one relationship with God, the way our will is brought into correspondence with His.  As our relationship improves, the distance narrows between us.  And because He is never the one who moves, we draw closer to Him and become like him.

          Therefore, by binding ourselves to those that we love by way of relationships, (or rather, by them binding themselves to us), they become more like us.  Therefore, the way to help another human being to change is to form a relationship with them and then step to higher spiritual ground.  The combination of these two elements is critical.  Without the first, the person we are trying to help is just a project to us and they will not see sincerity in our actions.  Without the second, there is no progression.  If we are not standing on higher ground, as the people we love become more like us they will not move any higher.  Therefore, the reason why we should step to higher spiritual ground is not because we enjoy the view, but rather so that we can be a greater blessing to our fellow beings, so that we can morn with those that morn and comfort those that stand of need of comfort, that we may have the capacity to make more of them than they can make of themselves.  In other words, the reason why we choose to progress is so that they can progress.

          Another caveat to this is that we cannot progress without someone else to pull us up to a higher plane of living.  The Savior is in a position to do that for each of us, just the relationship He has with His Father enabled Him to reach perfection.  As we help others progress for their good, we benefit far more than they do.  But, ironically, the reason we change so much is because we are so focused on not benefiting from it.  Rather, our goal is to help our brother or sister be benefited.  We don't just receive spiritual strength from the experience, we also get charity, which is the foundation of godhood. 

          Elder Marlin K. Jensen said that the bottom line of everything is relationships.  Is it yours?