Givers and Receivers

          What is the greatest gift you can give to another?  Is it your time?  Your concern?  Sacrificing something that means a lot to you?  Certainly which gift is best depends on the situation.  There is one gift that the Savior often gave that may not be obvious.

          "Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).  Because so much happiness comes from being able to make a positive contribution for others, sometimes the best thing we can do for them is to be helped by them.

          When we help others there is often a tendency to think of ourselves as above them, at least in some sense, even if we love and respect them.  It takes humility, and true love, to let others serve us so that they can feel happy and elevated.  To be clear, that does not mean that we should be selfish.  It simply means that when others try to do nice things for us, and we let them, we are giving them a key to happiness.

          Why is it so intuitive to us that we should accept Christ's sacrifice for us, and yet so difficult for us to allow others to do the dishes for us, give us rides to the grocery store, or any other small thing?  Zion is to be of one heart and one mind.  I do not believe that that can occur without a constant flow of giving and receiving between all of the saints.  I am not saying that we should limit the amount that we help others.  What I am saying is that we should pair out willingness to serve others with a willingness to be served.  From experience I know that sometimes the latter is harder,

          The following comes from the life of the Savior:

          "And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment" (Luke 7:37-38).

          I think that most people in Christ's situation would feel a little embarrassed about amount of affection the woman was showing.  But instead of pushing her away, the Savior gave her the priceless gift of the opportunity to serve the Son of God.  Sometimes the best way to rescue the damsel in distress is to let her rescue you.  The word "let" doesn't mean that you didn't legitimately need rescuing.  It may be as simple as acknowledging something beneficial that she did for you that she might not have thought was important.  It may be that you could have turned to someone else but chose her instead.

          Balance is difficult, but when the most important principles are in our hearts they emerge naturally in our actions.  So serve others.  Love them, help them and sacrifice for them.  But among all that, let others love you back.

"Coupelle opalescente Etling - Etling opalescent dish," no changes made, by Etienne https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/legalcode

Love One Another

          There is something more that needs to be said about the power of relationships between people.  Those relationships bring us a comprehension of reality and give us happiness.  It is the only force powerful enough to break down certain pieces of our nature which aren't congruent with God's light.  Can you think of some examples of how this can be the case? 

          "[Y]e are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:8-9). 

          In all other aspects of life, being better at something separates a person from the rest of humanity and places him on a pedestal above his peers.  That is true even in a spiritual setting because those with increased spiritual perspectives and knowledge cannot express everything that they know in a way that will be understood.  However, the stronger we are at building relationships, the more connected we become.  Being stronger in that sense means drawing closer to those that we serve, independent of how good they are at doing the same.  It means understanding them more deeply.  That is why Jesus Christ can stand at eye level with us without compromising His identity as the Son of God.

          Does it make sense, then, why prayer is such a fundamental part of the Gospel?  It is the way we build our one-on-one relationship with God, the way our will is brought into correspondence with His.  As our relationship improves, the distance narrows between us.  And because He is never the one who moves, we draw closer to Him and become like him.

          Therefore, by binding ourselves to those that we love by way of relationships, (or rather, by them binding themselves to us), they become more like us.  Therefore, the way to help another human being to change is to form a relationship with them and then step to higher spiritual ground.  The combination of these two elements is critical.  Without the first, the person we are trying to help is just a project to us and they will not see sincerity in our actions.  Without the second, there is no progression.  If we are not standing on higher ground, as the people we love become more like us they will not move any higher.  Therefore, the reason why we should step to higher spiritual ground is not because we enjoy the view, but rather so that we can be a greater blessing to our fellow beings, so that we can morn with those that morn and comfort those that stand of need of comfort, that we may have the capacity to make more of them than they can make of themselves.  In other words, the reason why we choose to progress is so that they can progress.

          Another caveat to this is that we cannot progress without someone else to pull us up to a higher plane of living.  The Savior is in a position to do that for each of us, just the relationship He has with His Father enabled Him to reach perfection.  As we help others progress for their good, we benefit far more than they do.  But, ironically, the reason we change so much is because we are so focused on not benefiting from it.  Rather, our goal is to help our brother or sister be benefited.  We don't just receive spiritual strength from the experience, we also get charity, which is the foundation of godhood. 

          Elder Marlin K. Jensen said that the bottom line of everything is relationships.  Is it yours?

Service: Less is More

          Each of us has the capacity to help others for good.   Many people feel it a privilege to be placed at the right spot at the right time in order to be a positive influence in others' lives.  Sometimes we yearn to be able to help those that are close to us in time of difficulty.  Those who have had that experience know that it is one of the sweetest moments we can have.

          Yet, at the same time, there are moments when the best thing we can do for someone is to hold back.  To desist, rather than to act.  Sometimes what we don't do is just as important as what we do.  There are several reasons that this may be the case.

          First of all, the action we want to perform to serve another person may be beyond the scope of our calling.  John the Baptist recognized this.  He said, "He it is of whom I bear record. He is that prophet, even Elias, who, coming after me, is preferred before me, whose shoe’s latchet I am not worthy to unloose, or whose place I am not able to fill;" "He must increase, but I must decrease."  There were certain things that John the Baptist did not do.  Not because he could not, but because they were not within his stewardship.  He accepted his place with a full heart, in doing so supporting the cause of the Master far more thoroughly than he would have otherwise.

          Secondly, the service we want to render may be another's to give.  Even though the nature of our calling may not preclude us from helping someone else in a specific way, sometimes it is the Lord's will that someone else be the hero.  If we have been training ourselves to respond to the needs of others, this might be a hard pill to swallow.  Even if we don't care about anyone else knowing what we've done, it's only natural to want to be the one who does the helping.  But leaders understand that holding back helps others to grow. 

          For a doctrinal example of this we need not look further than God the Father.  Although He is all-powerful and all-knowing, He directs His children on the Earth to carry out His purposes rather than acting personally.  All that He does, He does through Jesus Christ.  Not because He could not do those things He asks, but because allowing others to act will help them to grow.  In this case, holding back from action is the critical service He provides us.  Although, in His love for us, He must yearn to personally be able to succor those in physical or spiritual pain, He sacrifices that desire for our good, so that we can grow through performing that service ourselves.  Thus we see that if the most important thing to us is that the services that are needed are rendered, regardless of who actually does it, our attitudes and behaviors will change.

          Lastly, sometimes withholding from action allows those we would have served to use their own agency.  Too much advice, even when it is accurate, will not often be as effective for the would-be receiver as gaining that knowledge themselves through personal revelation.  Sometimes we are the vehicle that God uses to deliver a message.  Other times our best recourse is to give frustrating answers like, "pray about it," ,"study the scriptures," or even, "well, I'm sure you'll figure it out."  Giving these answer might be hard, but it may also cause more growth than anything else you could do.  It may allow you to preserve the specific conditions of your relationship with the person you are helping so that your efforts will be more effective later on.

          The purpose of this article isn't to convince you to make excuses not to help other people.  Rather, its objective  is to highlight the fact that when in the course of desperately trying to help someone, sometimes the brake will get you to the finish line faster than the accelerator.  As we look to God for instructions on how to serve each individual person, He will guide us to do those things that will result in the greatest possible happiness for those we associate with.  How do we know that?  Because we know that He loves them so much, and that he can take far better care of them than we can.

The Prophet Joseph Smith declared that God, “before [the earth] rolled into existence, … contemplated the whole of the events connected with the earth. … [God] knew … the depth of iniquity that would be connected with the human family, their weakness and strength, … the situation of all nations and … their destiny, … and [He] has made ample provision [for mankind’s] redemption”.

Part of God’s “ample provision” consists of imperfect people like you and me, committed to shining and serving in our appointed orbits, knowing all the while that we are encircled “in the arms of [His] love”

--Elder Neal A. Maxwell

Spiritual Rebirth I

          Think of someone who has had an incredible impact for good on your life.  She might be a parent.  He might be a missionary or a home teacher.  She might be a trusted friend or adviser.  They may have known you for years or for seconds.  Perhaps a few words was all it took.  No matter what their action was, big or small, it revolutionized your life, and put you on a path completely different than the one you would have taken otherwise.

          A sign of spiritual maturity is the desire to be that kind of hero in the lives of those with whom we associate.  In a way, the pathway to spiritual rebirth begins with an inner drive to aid the spiritual rebirth of others.

          Listen to this description of fundamental differences between those who follow God and those who do not by Joseph Smith:

          "Now, in this world, mankind are naturally selfish, ambitious and striving to excel one above another; yet some are willing to build up others as well as themselves."

          We are naturally inclined to focus on our own welfare, including our spiritual welfare.  Yet, we must put off that natural man tendency if we are to be reborn as saints.  The opportunity to change the life of a son or daughter of God forever is a very precious thing.  In my personal opinion, it is the greatest gift God can give us.  It is both essential and inherent to the role of a parent in their family.  Once we have that desire, it changes the way we see even the most fundamental duties in the church.  For example, a man who truly desires the spiritual welfare of others will never intentionally neglect his hometeaching because he knows the potential impact it may have on the families he visits.  A trip to the temple becomes more than a chance to assuage a guilty conscience as the patron feels sincere concern for the person they officiate for.

          This initial change can, in a way, be considered a rebirth of sorts.  Yet it is not refined or complete.  It constitutes merely a change in perspective that potentially leads to greater things.  The Savior Himself taught this truth in John 3: 3-5, " Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.  Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born?  Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God."

          Joseph Smith taught that this scripture represents  two rebirths, one that is required to "see the kingdom of God," and one which is needed to "enter the kingdom." 

          The desire to bring about the salvation of others constitutes the first, preparatory rebirth.  The second rebirth, though initiated by baptism, may often not be finished or even completely understood until long after the ordinance is complete because the first rebirth has not yet taken place. Those who are transformed by the preparatory rebirth will find beauty instead of triviality in Alma 26:22, one of the greatest promises in all scripture, " Yea, he that repenteth and exerciseth faith, and bringeth forth good works, and prayeth continually without ceasing—unto such it is given to know the mysteries of God; yea, unto such it shall be given to reveal things which never have been revealed; yea, and it shall be given unto such to bring thousands of souls to repentance, even as it has been given unto us to bring these our brethren to repentance."

          Thus it is that, armed with the desire to transform the lives of others, we can finally see the kingdom of God for what it is:  a vehicle by which we can instigate the happiness of everyone around us according to the inspiration and wisdom of God.  And so it is that our spiritual birth begins.

The Lesson of the Tree of Life

            Many people, including various General Authorities, have interpreted Lehi's vision found in the eighth chapter of 1 Nephi for talks and other speaking arraignments.  All of these interpretations are valuable and most are based on true principles.  However, the purpose of this post is to discuss the original interpretation of the vision of the tree of life given to Nephi.  This interpretation is the key to understanding how to develop charity, the pure love of Christ.

            First of all, many people assume that the tree of life represents eternal life.  There is value in looking at it that way, but it is not the original interpretation.   

1 Nephi 11:21-22:

21 And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?

 22 And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men;

            It doesn't say anything about eternal life in these verses!  Nephi, inspired by the Spirit, declares that the tree represents the love of God or, in other words, the pure love of Christ.  We don't think of the vision of the tree of life as a guidebook to qualify for charity, but that is exactly what the scriptures describe it as.  Later on the vision depicts people who partake of the fruit of the tree of life and later fall away.  If the tree of life represented eternal life, an eternal gift, then why would the vision portray the possibility of gaining, and then losing it?  Further, the cause of the personal apostasy was the pride of the world.  After judgment day, there will be no worldly influences trying to make us err.  This life is our battle to prepare to meet God, and therefore the events of this vision are analogous of purely mortal events.

            The other piece of the vision that we are often too quick to assign meaning to is the iron rod.  We're familiar with the scripture in 1 Nephi 15:23-24: 

23 And they said unto me: What meaneth the rod of iron which our father saw, that led to the tree?

 24 And I said unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.

            The iron rod is the word of God.  But what is the word of God?  The knee-jerk answer is the scriptures, but think for a moment.  The word of God literally means God's words, or the things that God has said.  Of course, many of the things He says are found in the scriptures, but that is not the only place.  Of equal importance are the words of the living prophets and the Spirit.  In fact, if all we hear are the words of the scriptures themselves and not the meaning the Lord would like us to understand, we can hypothetically read the scriptures without hearing the word of God at all.  The word of God is simply those things that God wants to tell us, independent of the mechanism He uses to reveal it.  We would probably feel obligated to follow a message given from God to us by an angel, but why should we feel differently if we received the same message through a different medium?  The vision of the tree of life teaches us that those who hold fast to the rod of iron will never fall, but I have known personally people with strong testimonies who frequently study the scriptures and have still fallen.  Why?  Because they chose not to live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God, just by some of them.

            If we follow only the words of the living prophets and the scriptures, we lack the personal revelation that would turn doctrines and principles into action and faith.  If we only follow the prophets and the Spirit, we lose the backbone of spiritual power President Ezra Taft Benson spoke of that enables us to overcome temptations.  If we eliminate the words of the living prophets and leave just the Spirit and the scriptures we rely too much on our personal powers of interpretation and by "trusting in the arm of flesh" too much, can easily be deceived even while we think we are following God in every particular.  However, with all three of these pillars of revelation, together with any other medium by which God chooses to speak, we have a sure, steadfast compass that will never fail us.

            The message of the vision of the tree of life is simple:  If we integrate all forms of the word of God into all parts of our life, press through the trials and temptations of the mists of darkness, and destroy the great and spacious building of pride that dwells in our hearts, the day will come when we will be endowed with that untouchable power which is charity and be enabled to serve others with true selflessness.

 

            President Utchdorf promised:

"If you listen for the voice of the Father,

He will lead you on a course that will allow you to experience the pure love of Christ." 

 

 

           I love how the different forms of the word of God work together like that. 

 

 How have you seen different forms of the word of God work together to bless your life?

 

 

Selfishness Versus Self-Centeredness

How do you feel about the following motivations for helping someone?

Pride

Physical Reward (i.e. money)

Social Approval

Guilt

Duty

Temporal Blessings (from God)

Eternal Blessings (from God)

Becoming a Better Person

Meeting the People You Helped in the Celestial Kingdom

          Which motivation most often describes you?  Which ones make you feel

uncomfortable?  What do all of these motivations have in common?  They are all self-centered.  All of them.  Wait a minute!  Isn't it a good thing to be a better person and to see the fruits of your labors after this life?  Isn't it good to want blessings from God?  Yes.  But even these motivations lack something critical.  When I said that all the motivations listed above were self-centered, you probably immediately equated the term with selfishness.  It's probably not so bad to use the terms interchangeably, but there is a fundamental difference between the two.

          Selfishness is the act of yielding to the desires of the natural man over what we know is right, seeking pleasure rather than happiness, and obtaining something we want at the expense of another person.  According to that definition, four of the above-mentioned motivations could arguably be considered selfish:  pride, physical reward, social approval, and guilt.  There are, however, many things we can ask for from God  that aren't innately selfish, like patience, humility diligence, help on a test, direction when we're lost or confused, and the Holy Ghost.  All of these things are good things to ask for.  God wants us to have these things.  Some of them are essential to our salvation.  However, they are all centered on our own physical or spiritual wellbeing.  They are blessings that are "centered on ourselves," or in other words, "self-centered".  Although these things need to be in our lives, if we allow them to become the center then we are missing something fundamental.

          Christ taught that if we lose ourselves, we find ourselves.  Joseph Smith said, "Now, in this world, mankind are naturally selfish, ambitious and striving to excel one above another; yet some are willing to build up others as well as themselves."  If our only motivations for helping others are self-centered ones, who are we really choosing to build up?  Moroni 7:6,  "For behold, God hath said a man being evil cannot do that which is good; for if he offereth a gift, or prayeth unto God, except he shall do it with real intent it profiteth him nothing."

          Undoubtedly one of the most subtle self-centered motivations is the last one, to meet people that we helped in the Celestial Kingdom.  This is still self-centered because what we really want is our own personal happiness in knowing that we were such good people on the Earth that we helped others considerably.  Even altering this motivation to "wanting to be the person that helps others return to the Celestial Kingdom" still isn't enough to get the "self" out of the equation completely.  There still remains more of yourself to lose.  

          How then, can we ever find true altruism?  Does it even exist?  It does.  It is the attribute we commonly refer to as Charity, and it means desiring another's happiness more than your own.  It was the Christ's motivation for performing the Atonement, the motivation that still drives His actions today.  For that reason, we commonly refer to Charity as the pure love of Christ.  Pure, because there is no selfishness or self-centeredness involved.  Of Christ because it is His love, and because only through Him can anyone else love this way.  Please note that although all love is good, without the help of our Savior there will still be impurities in our love for others that need to be removed.  With that in mind, let us review the doctrine of Charity, found in 1 Corinthians 13:1-11

       "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing...Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.  For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.  But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.  When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

          The fact that Paul says that prophecy, tongues, faith to move mountains, and even sacrificial acts are nothing without Charity implies that it is possible to do all of those things without it.  Yet without Charity, we will fail, because it is the only force in the universe that never does.  We know in part what it means to love others, but when that which is perfect love comes, all our imperfect motivations are to be done away.  When we were spiritual children we talked, understood, and thought in terms of improving ourselves temporally and spiritually, but when we become spiritual men we thrust those things to the periphery of our lives and desire the happiness of others.

          How do we develop this perfect love?  Ponder on that this week, post your thoughts in the comments, and stay tuned for my answer next Monday:  The Lesson of the Tree of Life.